Monday, September 15, 2008

Having said that...

Due the letter below featured in 7days newspaper - I'm going to demonstrate how a real unadulterated whine is done! Gripe of the week ( hour / minute ) - Call centre operators. They don't listen , they don't apologise , they repeat the first inadequate solution to your problem over and over again , as if they haven't heard you the first time while you patiently told them why this "solution " would not solve anything !

My conversation went something like this :

ME : So basically I have been without any money for just under a week and the last 4 times I called you you promised me you would courier a cheque book to me so that I could pay my rent and preferably not become homeless. How is that going? I still haven't received a cheque book or new debit card . Its been almost a week .

Operator: Ok Ma'am , you have two options. You can come to the branch and collect your cheque book , or I can put in an urgent request to get it delivered.

M: I can't come to the branch . I have a job and I cant leave it to travel across the city .

O:Ok , Ma'am , you have two options . You can come to the branch and collect your cheque book , or I can put in an urgent request to get it delivered.

M : But this is the umpteenth time I have called you since ordering that cheque book - and each time you tell me you will put in an urgent request for me - these urgent requests aren't working and I am getting closer and closer to homelessness. Isn't there something else you can do ?

O: Ok Ma'am , you have two options. You can come to the branch and collect your cheque book , or I can put in an urgent request to get it delivered.

I think you get the gist . I also think I was speaking to a machine after this repeated answer was fired at me for the 10th time . Incidentally , all this is holding for 30 minutes . I have repeated this charade with them for the entire week .

Miraculously , today , somebody actually put me through to their supervisor - who also told me she couldn't do anything because it was Ramadan and everything was closed. But she will call me back tomorrow . I wont hold my breath ! Meanwhile - today was the day I was supposed to move apartments . But its ok , because apparently ,I have two options.....

Now we all know that customer service is Dubai ( while improving ) is shocking at best. A colleague of mine lived in Malawi for 15 years and said it was oodles more efficient than here. I tend to believe her.
There is something about customer service employees such as the ones in my bank that sees them just blindly following rules that serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever. They do not question why this inane rule is in place ,or why the system can't respond to a customer's most common query. And why do things remain the same? Because the style of management in Dubai is so pedantic , so "how dare you question my authority" that nobody wants to think outside the box and draw attention to themselves. Hence mediocrity reigns in Dubai .

I have no wasta whatsoever, and it seems that in this country , the lack of the latter means you will be sitting pretty for some time while employee blindly follow rules that don't fit ! You can build all the fancy towers you want Dubai , but if the simplest of things becomes like rocket science ( it has to be signed off by four people before an answer is given , no matter what the request ) you are still trailing behind a third world country in terms of actually getting things done !
Cant wait to see what happens when I try the monumental task of ( gasp shock horror ) registering my car!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

theres a book in you yet, your turn of phrase is excellent, Ger

The Yellow Box Of Doom said...

You wouldn't by any chance be with a black horse bank woudl you by any chance? I've been divorced now for nearly a years and despite four letter and numerous visits to the branch they still seem unable to remove her name from the bank statements etc....

You definitely should compile these rants into a book. Take a look at "If the Washing Machine Doesn't Kill you the Sun Probably Will" It will prove to you that nothing has changed in all these years!!

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Doesnt-Kill-Washing-Machine-Will/dp/185626159X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1228105621&sr=8-1

She said...

Not a black horse bank - but does it even matter - they all seem to be one trick ponies don't they !