Thursday, April 9, 2009

Put a ring on it ....

If you like it then you’d better put a ring on it ….

What IS going on people?? I know we are approaching wedding season , but Dubai seems to be going ga- ga!

I know for a fact , that if I was living in Ireland , nobody would dare ask me why I wasn’t married - or insinuate that I am not in a serious relationship without a rock on my left ring finger - but clearly - these rules do not hold in Dubai !

Obviously , culture and religious restraints dictate that people do not live together, but lets face it , when you are from a western background , you generally don’t get married without living with your partner beforehand.
( Please step in and correct me , but I’m taking a cross section of my Irish girlfriends between 25 and 35 )

I’m seeing a spate of engagements here that I think , if the happy couples were on home turf , would not be happening . ( A bit like who you end up being friends with here, you may not typically be friends with them if you were back home - but when in Rome and all that )

On discussing this further with friend’s based in UAE , I have discovered a startling trend in women beginning in their late 20’s! It begins with eyeing every potential man as a husband. What religion is he? Where will we live ? Would my parents like him? And all these are coming up in the first month or two of a relationship! It’s gone beyond a joke !

It seems that , by some form of osmosis , be it through the media , or merely by social circumstances, girls of a certain age slowly but surely begin to regard themselves as less than whole unless they are married , or at least have a wedding in the wings !

The woman begins to notice the genuine pity in the eyes of colleagues , and can draw more than one parallel between herself and Bridget Jones . She may own more than one cat , which doesn’t help with the image of being single and content
( sorry )

So by some twisted , self fulfilling prophecy , scores of previously independent minded women are now dedicating themselves to meeting “ Mr. Right”! Once they have him, they start the mental check list . Perhaps she has given herself one year to an engagement , she might stretch the engagement out to another year or so , under the guise of “ saving up for the wedding “ , and then , oh yes, there’s the kiddies to think of .

Boys , beware of the new breed of woman out there, she is under pressure, time isn’t on her side if she is to birth Sprog #1 before her ovaries have begun to shrivel .
It is no longer considered rude to quiz a couple about the possibility of impending nuptials. Bridezilla’s are being spawned across Dubai by the societies unforgiving attitude towards the single woman.

Sooooo , I’ve compiled my own top ten reasons not to get married yet !!

10. You have signed no contract , so , like an absent minded employer who didn’t finalize the hiring process, you can leave this and get a new gig at any point should you wish to do so !

9. Your child bearing hips are still called curvaceous - and thankfully , don’t have a child perched on them yet.

8. You can still see the absurdity of women shortening their husbands name to “dh” ( dear husband ) in conversation - a sad reference to far too much time spent on a certain internet forum .

7. Your employers still pay you a housing allowance. Because we all know that when someone gets married here, the offers become less generous and you have to get your husband to sign his consent for you to do run of the mill tasks like getting a drivers license. Who knew the age of consent was actually only 18 till the day you got hitched !

6. No obligation to shave legs/moustache/ any other decidedly unfeminine ( yet perfectly apparent in all women ) features


4. You get to look at married couples with families and notice that , although you are just as exhausted and burnt out as they are, you fatigue is from the excess of partying and not getting up at 5am to do the school run and all that comes with it!

3. You can STILL sell your car , quit your job and work in a bar in Goa/ Antibes/Galway/ or somewhere equally exotic if the fancy takes you .

2. Snot , poo, wee and dribble are ( hopefully ) the stuff of distant , distant nightmares. Unless of course you are a teacher, in which case , suck it up - and think of how strong your immune system now is after years of exposure !

1. Rest assured that , despite Bridget Jones description of “ smug marrieds “ , your married friends will , at some point , lament to you the loss of their single days of freedom - in much the same way we tell teenagers that the teens are the most carefree years of their lives. And you get to respond piously “ Yeah it’s fab, can you take your kid back now , I promised the girls I’d go meet them for brunch “

No comments: